#OC12-How to Have a Marriage Strategy When You Already Have Too Much To D

On Thursday afternoon at Orange, I attended a workshop led by Ted Lowe.  I had attended his seminar at the AMFM conference in Dallas last summer.  I enjoyed his passion for marriages.  You can visit his website here

Here are the notes from his workshop:

Our research has shown that most "marriage ministries" are a strategy by default. The church spends most of their time "reacting" to the needs of the minority rather than being responsive to the needs of the majority.

Every church is doing something to help marriages.  But in order to make a real difference in the lives of married couples, churches need a marriage strategy.

How do we move from "Something to Help Marriages" to a "Strategy to Help Marriages"?

• Begin with the end in mind.
• The purpose of your strategy and the purpose of marriage is one and the same: to be a great reflection of the relationship between Christ and your church.
• A great reflection: Married People loving God, Married people loving their spouse, Married people serving married people.
• Empower and train leaders
• Who is going to be the primary leader of this ministry?
• What few couples have the time and interest to assist this primary leader?
• A church's capacity to care for couples is directly related to its ability to find and develop leaders.
1. Make the experience great.
2. Continue to ask leaders to find leaders.
3. Target empty-nesters.

•  Refine the message
• What are the core truths we want to communicate to couples?
• When we teach less, people learn more.
• For example: The Married People Core Four Habits of a Great Marriage are
• Love God First
• Have Serious Fun
• Respect and Love
• Practice Your Promise

 We need to be telling couples, "Go enjoy your marriage!" instead of only "Marriage is hard work."

Marriage is not about the big day, but about every day.

• Determine a long-term strategy
• At this point in the strategy we know that it's time for you to ask, "What is this marriage ministry going to look like?" There are obviously several directions that you could go from here! In partnership with Married People, we suggest a threefold process that is easy to implement.
• Larger Group Experiences
• Individual Couples
• Small Groups

"Marriage is not a topic we need to cover, but a relationship."

We need to be sharing with couples that "Struggle is normal, but hope is available."

• For the MarriedPeople Strategy, we break the year into quarters.  For each quarter, we leverage environments and resources for large group gathers, small groups, and individual couples.
• Less content, more often
• It is good to just send couples on dates.

 How do you handle child care for events or small groups? Here are some suggestions:

• Child care reimbursement
• At church
• Swap with other couples
• Have youth "earn" camp scholarships through child care for these events.

Check back later this afternoon for notes from the workshop on 5th/6th grade transition.