daddy4ms

Each year, my Christmas list includes lots of books.  So, at the start of each year, I like to share the new books that I received.  Here is one of my new books for 2019:

We as a people are fascinated with sex.  The church over the years has not always handled the topic very well.  In Scott Sauls book, Jesus Outside the Lines, he has some great thoughts for us to consider. Below are some quotes: Like fire, sex can be incredibly life giving, comforting, and healing when handled with care. It is among the most delightful of all human activities. It is also among the most dangerous. Like fire, when sex is taken outside its natural and created boundaries, it becomes destructive, leaving burn marks and scars. That's why God is in favor of chastity, or sexual abstinence, for those living outside the covenant of marriage. Biblically, the most interesting and attractive women and men are those whose hearts are at rest because they know that God loves them. Until we learn to see people as people instead of things, as image bearers to be loved instead of objects to be used, sexuality will only become more confused and broken.  God is fav...

In Jesus Continued, J.D. Greear has a great illustration on intimacy with Jesus and how that impacts the fruit of the Spirit.  It is a little longer so I am including it in a post by itself: Think of how a married couple produces physical "fruit." In the moment of conception, they are not thinking about the mechanics of making the child; they are swept up in love for one another! The "fruit" of that is a child. In the same way, when we get swept up in intimate interaction with Jesus in the gospel, the "fruit" that results is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control. Spiritual fruit comes not by concentrating on producing those attributes, but by becoming intimately aware of God's full acceptance of us in the gospel.

Guys, I hope this post will be an encouragment to you in your battles and temptation.  It is taken from the book, The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. The Enemy of our souls is known as "the accuser of our brethren," and when it comes to the brethren, most of Satan's accusations have to do with sexual sins. For men, the spiritual battle is often won or lost on the battlefield of sexual temptation. And when we lose a battle, the enemy wants us to give up the fight. Can I remind you of something the enemy knows all too well? You may lose some battles, but the war has already been won. And while the Enemy never stops accusing us, our Almighty Ally never stops fighting for us, never gives up on us.  Brian (and you) is winning the battle because Christ already won the war.  The truth is that the victory has already been won. To seal the victory, all it takes is a defining decision and a daily decision.  Some of us don't start fighting the battle because we're ...

Hesston MB is again hosting the Art of Marriage on April 5-6, 2013.  I would encourage all couples--seriously dating, engaged, newlywed, married with or without kids, empty nesters, or retired to attend.  This is a great investment in your marriage.  The content is engaging, humorous, and very well done and covers the following topics: Love Happens: God's Purpose and Plan Love Fades: Overcoming Isolation Love Dances: Fulfilling Our Responsibilities Love Interrupted: Communication and Conflict Love Sizzles: Experiencing Real Intimacy (yes, they talk about sex) Love Always: Leaving a Lasting Legacy To register, sign up at Hesston MB, Zoar MB, or Koerner Heights churches.  Or you can register online at  hesstonmbchurch.eventbrite.com

On Thursday, I finished reading Real Marriage by Mark & Grace Driscoll.  It was a good book on the topic of marriage and sex.  The best chapters focused on friendship as a couple, being a servant to your spouse inside and outside of the bedroom, and finishing well in marriage.  I would recommend the book to couples looking for a good book on marriage.  However, I would caution couples regarding the chapter entitled, "Can We _____?" This chapter comes from many counseling sessions with couples on what is "ok in the bedroom."  It is a frank discussion and in some ways talks about certain topics that most couples are not asking. Driscoll keeps the standards of Scripture while encouraging couples to have conversation and be thinking of their spouse. The Driscoll's open up personally about their own struggles and joys as a married couple in ministry.  They both have great wisdom to share regarding ministry and healing from abuse.  Here are a few ...

Did I just say the word?  Yes, I did.  As I shared last week, I finished reading a book on marriage by Dave Harvey.  Here are a few thoughts from one of the final chapters on sex. "We are called by God to become devoted to sexually satisfying our spouse." Referring to 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, Harvey writes, "God has designed the sexual relationship as a key expression of this reality, for when sex is at its best, my delight in and enjoyment of sex is almost indistinguishable from the pleasure experienced by my spouse. The joy of sex, then, is the pleasure derived from giving our spouse his or her conjugal rights." C. J. Mahaney said, "Indeed any married person who rightly sees these verses as commands from God will bring to the marriage bed a servant's mindset that places the primary emphasis on the sexual satisfaction of his or her spouse." "We are called to depend on him at every moment and in every area--including our sex life." ...

On Sunday, I had the privilege to take Mitchell to OKC to a Thunder game for a present from Christmas.  He loves NBA and the Thunder.  I looked forward to time with him, but I am not much of a NBA fan.  However, I must say I really enjoyed the game.  From the minute, we walked in the doors, it was an energetic and fun environment.  Then the rest of the activities going on throughout the game were entertaining and fun as well.  And the game was good too.  I usually critique the NBA because of lack of passion & defense.  I have to say I was impressed with the defense of the Thunder and how even their offensive threats still worked hard on defense.  I would definitely go again.  It was probably the most exciting professional sport's event I have attended behind football. It was also a good opportunity to spend father and son time.  The 6th graders had just recently heard the "puberty & how babies are made" talk at school....

I have officially decided that starting next school year, I will be hosting a parenting class on how to talk about purity, puberty, sex, and dating at Hesston MB.  It will be for parents of 5th/6th graders.  It was prompted as I read through Passport2Purity by Dennis & Barbara Rainey.  It is a great resource and the class will walk through good resources to use to facilitate this discussion.  I don't know any topic that creates as much anxiety and fear as having "the talk" with your kids.  Hopefully, through this class, parents will become more at ease and not feel ill equipped to have an open conversation.  So, what questions would you like me to answer in this class? What resources would you recommend?

On Day 3 (Thursday), the final day of AMFM , I was again able to attend 3 workshops. They were: Engaging the Church in Caring for Divorcees & Single Parent Families, Desire in Marriage, and Creating Events that Matter for Married Couples. Engaging the Church in Caring For Divorcees & Single Parent Families -The first workshop was very thought provoking regarding the church's view of divorced people. The presenter was Wes Butler. He started by sharing from several Scriptures: Genesis 16:13, John 4:29-30, Matthew 19:8, Psalm 68:5, James 1:27. He posed the question: Are single parents present-day widows & orphans? How should the church engage? He shared several thoughts. First, we must allow the broken & hurting in. See Proverbs 14:4. We must also be willing to get our hands and feet dirty. He stresses this is not just programs, but walking with people through difficult processes. We need to be incarnational -how can we help with finances, meals, other needs?H...

One does not have to watch more than 5 minutes of TV to know that our culture has a flawed view of purity and sex. I cannot believe that I have to have a remote in my hand at all times during 7 p.m. programming on all networks mostly because of the commercials. We are very careful what we watch in our home and limit our TV, internet , and movie exposure. However, as a parent, we cannot ignore this topic, but must talk about it honestly and from a Biblical perspective with our kids at a young age. If we don't talk to them, someone or something will. It can be an awkward conversation, but who do you want teaching your kids about purity? Here are the lies we tell ourselves or Satan whispers to us about purity: At least I don't watch ______________________. (We compare ourselves to others and let that be our guideline.) It only has a little nudity, swearing, etc. in it. It won't hurt me. Flirting with my co-worker is innocent. Looking at pornography as a couple will spice up ou...

In my Bible reading this morning, I was reading Psalm 119:1-64. I have always loved this Psalm because of its focus on the law, commands, decrees, etc. Each of these points us to God's Word as the best way to experience life. Many times in this Psalm we are told to meditate, learn, seek, hide, follow, live, teach these things. You may ask, "Is there really freedom in following a bunch of rules?" Before answering that question, I need to preface it by saying we are not saved by following the law or seeking to do more good than bad. We are saved by a relationship with Jesus Christ. He is the way, the truth and the life. So, ultimate freedom comes in our relationship with Christ. Back to Psalm 119-But God's Word can give us direction and guidance today. God's Word is "living and active" ((Hebrews 4:12) and useful for "teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good w...