The Battle For . . . Purity

One does not have to watch more than 5 minutes of TV to know that our culture has a flawed view of purity and sex. I cannot believe that I have to have a remote in my hand at all times during 7 p.m. programming on all networks mostly because of the commercials. We are very careful what we watch in our home and limit our TV, internet, and movie exposure. However, as a parent, we cannot ignore this topic, but must talk about it honestly and from a Biblical perspective with our kids at a young age. If we don't talk to them, someone or something will. It can be an awkward conversation, but who do you want teaching your kids about purity?

Here are the lies we tell ourselves or Satan whispers to us about purity:

• At least I don't watch ______________________. (We compare ourselves to others and let that be our guideline.)


• It only has a little nudity, swearing, etc. in it. It won't hurt me.


• Flirting with my co-worker is innocent.


• Looking at pornography as a couple will spice up our love life.


• Pornography is not that big of a deal. Everyone is looking at it.


• I can sleep with someone as long as we are committed to each other. It's the same thing as marriage, right?


• Since my spouse is not meeting my needs, I deserve to have those needs met elsewhere (pornography, adultery)


• It's too early to start talking to my kids about purity. (Recent study shows that children's first exposure to pornography was at age 8)


• My parents didn't talk to me about purity or sex and I turned out OK. Can't I do the same with my kids?


• Sex is just intercourse. I can still have oral sex and be a virgin.


• It won't happen to me. (pregnancy, STD's)


• My thought life is not that important as long as I don't act on it.


• What I put into my mind and heart really doesn't affect my purity that much. (music, movie, tv, internet)


• Culture says homosexuality is OK so we as Christians and the church should go along with it as well. (However, the church has made homosexuality as its main issue while many other sexual sins have been ignored.)


• Sex is purely physical. There are no emotional or spiritual aspects to it.


• We can't expect teenagers to say no to sex. They are going to do it so we better make sure they are prepared.


• (Girls) What I wear is my choice and it should not matter whether it is low cut or short. It's the style and what is popular now.


• (Guys) Part of being a teenage or college guy is the experience of seeing how many girls I can sleep with. It's uncool or weird being a virgin. If a girl sleeps around she is slut, but if a guy does it, he is macho or cool.


• The list goes on and on.

What's the truth?

1 Corinthians 5:18-20 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

Exodus 20:14 says, "You shall not commit adultery."

Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

Job 31:1 says, "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl."

This topic easily becomes a hot button one within the church and our culture. However, our guide is the Bible not what the majority of people believe or feel. Purity is a big deal. It includes not only the physical, but the mental and emotional and spiritual as well. We must be careful what we put into our hearts and minds through movies and television. I am not going to tell you what you should and should not watch, but if you fill your mind with a bunch of garbage, it will start to come out in your life. If you are married, you need to be a "servant lover" (term from Mark Driscoll teaching at Song of Solomon Conference) to your spouse. It is not just about you, but more about your spouse's needs. If you are single, you need to save sex for marriage. As my pastor preached this weekend, God has placed boundaries for sex and that boundary is marriage. When we choose to ignore this boundary, we will suffer consequences which are physical, emotional and spiritual.