Emerson Eggerichs at D6 2011
Emerson Eggerichs is best selling author of Love and Respect. He has been a counselor for over 30 years. A great new resource is Love & Respect for small groups.
In marriage, many times we get into conflict over saying the same thing. A funny example is, "I have nothing to wear." For women, this means I don't have anything new. For men, this means I don't have anything clean.
Men & women are equal, but not the same.
What is the one thing that is going on in the spirit of a woman?
What is the one thing that is going on in the spirit of a man?
University of Washington studied 2,000 couples over 20 years. We now know the two key successful elements in marriage. They are love & respect.
During conflict, a woman tends to feel hostility and wonder why he doesn't love her. Men, on the other hand, as a woman wants to try and communicate, perceive disrespect.
Ephesians 5:33-Notice what God's Word says--Husbands, love your wife. Wives, respect your husband.
Eggerichs asked 7,000 people in conflict, do you feel unloved or disprespected?
But in reality, how do men & women respond when in conflict?
Are we going to live by Hollywood or the Holy Word?
Don't dismiss your spouse as childish when they respond in ways different than you would. He uses the example of a husband giving his wife a diet book. Or the wife gives her husband the 3rd book on marriage.
Behind closed doors, we are adolescents.
Respect is motivating to men.
Love is motivating to women.
Everything is being viewed through the pink grid. Most talk shows are speaking from a female perspective.
Women confront to connect with men.
How do we get off this crazy cycle?
In marriage, many times we get into conflict over saying the same thing. A funny example is, "I have nothing to wear." For women, this means I don't have anything new. For men, this means I don't have anything clean.
Men & women are equal, but not the same.
What is the one thing that is going on in the spirit of a woman?
What is the one thing that is going on in the spirit of a man?
University of Washington studied 2,000 couples over 20 years. We now know the two key successful elements in marriage. They are love & respect.
During conflict, a woman tends to feel hostility and wonder why he doesn't love her. Men, on the other hand, as a woman wants to try and communicate, perceive disrespect.
Ephesians 5:33-Notice what God's Word says--Husbands, love your wife. Wives, respect your husband.
Eggerichs asked 7,000 people in conflict, do you feel unloved or disprespected?
- 83% of men say disrespect
- 72% of women say unloved
But in reality, how do men & women respond when in conflict?
- Men-Without respect, he responds without love.
- Women-Without love, she responds without respect.
Are we going to live by Hollywood or the Holy Word?
Don't dismiss your spouse as childish when they respond in ways different than you would. He uses the example of a husband giving his wife a diet book. Or the wife gives her husband the 3rd book on marriage.
Behind closed doors, we are adolescents.
Respect is motivating to men.
Love is motivating to women.
Everything is being viewed through the pink grid. Most talk shows are speaking from a female perspective.
Women confront to connect with men.
How do we get off this crazy cycle?
- My response is my responsibility
- He/she is a good person.
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