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Doug Fields has been married 28 years. He has been in ministry for over 30 years and the author of 50+ books. He spoke on leadership principles he learned after 30 years in ministry. 3 Sunlamps That Can Blind Us The Importance of Numbers "Bigger is better" causes you to have to feed the beast. Because of this, my vision was burned. The Pace of Life Deadlines, Due Dates, & Demands It became more of a sprint than a marathon An outcome of this was a longing for isolation The Constant Comparison Comparing yourself to other ministries & other people 10% of people are not going to like you. These are not immoral issues, but the problem becomes when we focus on them. How do we turn off these lights that can blind us? Here are his learnings: Bigger isn't Better, Better is Better   Numbers feed our insecurity Hurry is the Enemy of the Depth I found depth with people, within myself, and with Jesus. You can't rush relationships, discip

Here are a few lyrics we sang at D62012 on Friday as we were led in worship by Shane & Shane & Bethany Dillon. What a powerful time of worship! I enjoyed the girl/guy song called Trust in You.  You can see link to YouTube below. We Are Here For You Let our praise be Your welcome Let our songs be a sign We are here for You, we are here for You Let Your breath come from heaven Fill our hearts with Your life We are here for You, we are here for You To You our hearts are open Nothing here is hidden You are our one desire You alone are holy Only You are worthy God, let Your fire fall down Let our shout be Your anthem Your renown fill the skies We are here for You, we are here for You Let Your Word move in power Let what's dead come to life We are here for You, we are here for You We welcome You with praise We welcome You with praise Almighty God of love Be welcomed in this place [x2] Watch video of Trust in You One thing remains Your love n

Mark McPeak is Director of Advancement at Free Will Baptist International Missions. He is author of Grace in the Empty Spaces , a study of the one another passages in Scripture. His topic was "Grace in the Empty Spaces of My Marriage" Lois asked Mark, "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happily married?" Over time in our relationship, empty spaces developed. How are you going to fill those spaces? With suspicion, mistrust, anger, bitterness, resentment? What was the critical input he was missing?  His wife's perspective She was on one side & I was on the right side  How About You? Where are you on the continuum between really good and not good? "Being right or winning is a really stupid relationship strategy" Maybe You . . . Shut Down Blow Up Are dramatic Are passive/aggressive Pout  Punish  Control  Ephesians 5:31-32 Our marriages are supposed to be a picture of Christ's relationship to the Chu

Fred Luter, President of Southern Baptist Convention & Pastor of Franklin Avenue Baptist Church from New Orleans, LA. His topic was "Reaching Men & the Non-Traditional Family" "Our families are in trouble including those in the church."  Our families and marriages are under attack by the Enemy. This began in Genesis 3. The cycle of divorce was alive and well in the Luter family (great grandfather, grandfather, parents). Only by the grace of God that I am what I am today!" "I am confident our kids can never be what they have never seen." Luter prayed, help me break the stronghold of divorce in my family.  "If you save the man, the man will save the family. It all starts with the man." Our nation won't get right until God's people get right! "It's OK to be hen-pecked if you have a good head."  48% of Franklin Avenue Baptist Church is men. Once at church, as pastor I need to equip them from t

Sean McDowell, son of Josh McDowell, is Department Head of Bible Division at Capistrano Valley Christian Schools. Sean is married to his high school sweetheart and has three children. Check out his blog  here and his website His topic is "What's the Big Deal with Pornography?" Pornography: Comes from the Greek: pornographos which means "writings about prostitutes" Facts about Pornography: 42.7% of all Internet users view porn Every second 28,258 Internet users view porn Worldwide pron revenue is over 100 billion Every day 2.5 billion pornographic emails are sent 30% is now viewed by women  As a church, when are we going to wake up to realities of pornography? Three Myths about Pornography It doesn't affect me. How has it affected you? is question he always asks. Pornography teaches men to view women as objects rather than be in relationships with women as human beings. #1 area teens as a whole are learning about sex is pornography

Dennis Rainey is the President and CEO of FamilyLife.  Check out his website . 1 Corinthians 16:13-14-"Be watchful. Stand firm in the faith. . .Be strong." "Faith is the refusal to panic." (Martin Lloyd Jones) 5 Steps Boyhood Need direction from a strong man Adolescence Hormones, Confusion, Anger "You are going to deal with me if you mess with my wife." 4 Things Every Teenager Boy Needs Identity How to have relationships (Love God, Love Others) Character  Mission (Great Commission) Manhood 1 Corinthians 13:11 Real manhood begins with surrender to Jesus Christ. What a man surrenders to will determine his outcome as a man. Real manhood repeatedly steps away from childish things. Read manhood means we courageously step up and do our duty.  "I have interviewed 40 young men who wanted to date my 4 daughters." Mentor 2 Timothy 2:2 We were made for discipleship. Every man needs to be a mentor and every man needs to b

Awesome worship was led by Aaron Shust on Thursday.  I loved how he incorporated hymns in the morning with more contemporary music in the afternoon and evening.  He is a gifted worship leader.  Check out his site here Here are a few lyrics we sang today: "Your name is a strong and mighty tower. Your name is a shelter like no other....Cause nothing has the power to save but Your Name." "My Savior loves, my Savior lives My Savior's always there for me My God He was, my God He is My God He's always gonna be." My hope is in you Lord, all the day long I won't be shaken by drought or storm The peace that passes understanding is my song and I sing My hope is in You alone Holy, holy, holy! Lord God Almighty! Early in the morning our song shall rise to thee. Holy, holy, holy! Merciful and mighty, God in three persons, blessed Trinity!

Beth Guckenberger is executive director of Back2Back Ministries . Beth and her husband, Todd, have nine children. She always starts her talks by reading Joshua 1:8. "The star of these stories is God, not the people I share about." She shared from Mark 4:35-5:20 "We have two choices everyday: Yes, Lord or No." "He silenced the storm with a word from His mouth. We have those Words in the Bible." "We serve a Savior that doesn't want even one to be lost." "God is my story weaver." Story of Joel-age 4 (praying for food and specifically choice steaks) "God does not just show up, He shows off!" Story of two of her daughters (10 & 12) Agape love is compelled to act. "The story is not over yet." Story about a woman of prayer Your mother co-labored with me for the salvation of my daughter. "Don't ever stop praying." I am trying to do 90% of my battle in the heavenly r

Dr. Tim Elmore is the founder and president of Growing Leaders, whose goal is to develop young leaders to transform society.  He has written more than 20 books.  Check out this site here "Here is a kid growing up too fast and growing up too slow simultaneously." "26 is the new 18." "Adolescence doesn't end until 34 years old." The Big Debate: Are Students Growing Up Too Fast or Too Slowly? Artificial Maturity: What is it? Students are over-exposed to information far earlier than they are ready. Students are under-exposed to real life experiences far later than they are ready. Ancient Wisdom "Knowledge" "GINOSKO"-to be aware of; to be informed; to become acquainted with How is it fostered? Internet passage; no boundaries to data; "OIDA"-to fully perceive and understand through experience. How is it missing? Adult fear of risk; fear of letting them fail or get hurt; we are safety obsessed

Mike Glen is pastor of Brentwood Baptist Church in Brentwood, TN. They talk about the ministry in homes rather than family.  We are not doing something new, but instead doing something old.  "You were signed by God." "The Law of Unintended Consequences" City-wide, young adult worship experience-we called it Kairos. Here's what we found out . . . A lot of confusion among young adult Moralistic therapeutic deism (Better person, Feel better, God is somewhere no one knows his address Syncretistic worldview (a little Jesus, Buddhism, Homer Simpson, etc. & mix together) We had discovered the "emerging adult"-the time between adolescence and full adulthood Extending education Changing job market Most "marketed to" generation in history (what do you want from me?) Cynical about institutions (lack of trust in church)  "As the church, we don't start at ground zero, but instead at a negative number." First genera

Richard Ross is speaking now at D6 Conference.  Speaking with shirt untucked and said if invited back next year, he will wear skinny jeans. Richard Ross is professor to the next generation of youth ministers at Southwestern Seminary in Fort Worth. Concentric Circles of the D6 Movement Me D6 begins with a believer standing alone in the middle circle. John 15: 1,4 Most Scripture focuses on "us in Him." Follow Me (focus at beginning of Jesus' ministry) changes to Abide In Me. We need to be in awe of His Majesty & also realize our intimacy with Him.         "Just wait until you get to abide with me all the time."        Your running around busy for Him is not as important as your relationship to Him.                Gratitude for the Gospel, Gratitude for the complete work of grace in my life        "Faith at home practices led by spiritually lethargic parents lead to spiritually lethargic children."  My Spouse Closest intertwin

Pete Wilson is up first at D6 2012.  Check out  Pete's blog. "When in the Bible did God give anyone an easy task?" In this room, we have thousands of people with a calling with massive implications. The temptation is to focus on wrong things. "What matters most is not what you accomplish, it's who you become." Our primary responsibility is to be present with Him.  John 15 says "Remain in me and I will remain in you. . . .Apart from me you will do nothing. The branch is to abide; to remain. "We are, therefore we act." The Christian life is to be committed to God. I must stay connected to Him and if I do fruit will come. Plan A is the family.  Are we going to choose God-sized obedience or a man-sized solution? Exodus 33: 7,11-"Then Moses would return to the camp . . .but Joshua did not leave the tent. "Maybe Moses was addicted to doing for God instead of just being with God." "Constant contact with o

Mark Matlock is wrapping up our afternoon at D6.  You can visit his website here . His topic was "The Hero's Journey"  Every story starts with the ordinary life. Next, comes a call to action . After the call to action, usually failure comes. The mentor follows our failures.  What do they give?  Wisdom . A mentor helps the young hero connect to the Vine. As you look at the life of our heroes (i.e. Star Wars, Spiderman, Batman), why are the parents most often absent? Who else from the Body of Christ will be a mentor to your kids? Trials occur  Maturity Mark used popular culture to illustrate the hero's journey.  This is a great option to keep us listening after a day packed full of ideas. Thankful for his creativity!

Dr. Tim Elmore was the presenter for this workshop.  His website is  here "As parents, we are better at protecting than preparing." The Evolution of Parents The Tylenol Scare-The Era of the "Wanted Child" began. The Reagan Years-The Era of the "Protected Child" began. Media, TV, Campaigns & Movies-The Era of the "Worthy Child" began. Focus on Education in the 1990's-The Era of the "Perfect Child" began. The Columbine Massacre-The Era of the "Smothered Child" began. Remember the butterfly story-helping a butterfly escape from cocoon does not end well Damaging Parenting Styles Today Helicopter Parents -Side w/ child instead of caring adult teaching or leading them. They hover, control. Karaoke Parents- Sound like, dress like their child. More committed to be friend than parent. Dry Cleaner Parents- You are a professional-fix my child.  They just drop off their kids. Volcano Parents- Erupting with

John McGee, Director of Marriage Ministry at Watermark Community Church, was the presenter.  Visit their website  here Mistake #1-Separating Marriage and Discipleship In Church, we treat marriage as a topic instead of connected to discipleship or gospel Be a hospital and university at their church Mistake #2-Start by Writing Your Own Content It is either terrible or takes forever to write Find materials and tweak them Mistake #3-No Buy-in From Senior Leadership Do not demean those above you in leadership Senior pastors are not against marriage or marriage ministry Most often they don't understand the vision or how it competes for resources Discover your pastor's language and what motivates them Mistake #4-Lack of Authenticity in Leaders A heart that is well is a heart that tells. We want couples to be honest, but we are not honest ourselves. Mistake #5-Careless Design Choices Over-reliance on quick fixes (one-time events) Train leaders well

Ed Stetzer, president of Lifeway Research.Check out his website here Going Deeper in Your Teaching Ministry (Christ-Centered and Mission-Focused) Three ways to define deep: Depth as "just the facts ma'am" Depth as "insights for Daily Living" Depth as Gospel-Centrality Three ways people hear the question "What is the Gospel?" Telling the Story for an Individual (Evangelistic Presentation) Telling the Story of Jesus (Exegetical definition of the word) Telling the Story of New Creation (The whole good news of Christianity) Moralism: The Enemy of depth Getting right with God without defining who God is Good advice versus Good News Spiritualization of the gospel announcement  "The Gospel is not you do. It's Jesus did." Going Deep   Recognize that true transformation comes from the biblical gospel   Proclaim Jesus as Savior, not just example  Diagnose moralism in your own heart Ground your application in the cross an

Greg Baird was the presenter.  His website is  here The Peter Pan Syndrome They were mischievous They looked for a mother figure They were confident & carefree They wanted their own way They refused to grow up Typical of Today's Boys Laziness Thrill seeking Connected to "stuff" Passive Anger Bored Gender roles confused Entitled Clueless about masculinity demotivated to take responsibility disengaged socially awkward no direction Recommended the book Generation iY by Tim Elmore.  Great chapter on boys and some of material from workshop taken from this book. Key Factors Shaping Our Boys Video games & other online activity Inappropriate teaching methods Prescription drugs Endocrine disruptors (BPA-major effect is boys experience puberty later) Damaging parenting styles (helicopter parent, dry cleaner parent (drop off), drop out, commando) Devaluation of masculinity (TV, music, fatherlessness, women's movement) "Ra

Leon Wirth & Roy Baldwin were presenters of this workshop. Both work for Focus on the Family.  Visit their site  here Challenge: How does the Church make a lasting impact on the community and earn the opportunity to share the Good News of Jesus Christ? Passion: Reveal God to the World through the Beauty of Family Why Does Family Matter? What would happen if family disappeared from society tomorrow? The challenges teens face are always best met when the parents are involved, especially but not exclusively Daddy. Why Family Matters: Our deepest pains and joys-and our need to belong and have significance-universally begin with family. This is because the fullest created expression of God's very nature, image, and story is the family. Thus, a life that honors the family in redemptive grace and truth glorifies His image, and so satisfies us like nothing else. A life that dishonors the family disgraces His image, and so shrinks us like nothing else. "By unders

Jim Wideman is giving free stuff away including a Jim Wideman bobblehead.  That is a great way to start a session! Reaching Kids that Live at Your House   "Grandkids are the prize for not killing the first bunch." "3 out of 4 of things listed in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 happen at home." "It is important that we practice what we preach.   "Ephesians 6:1-4-Dads, the Lord knew this was going to be a problem or He would not have called us out. " Make Jesus King! Watch the voices your kids hear.  Let your house be an oasis. It's important to take back the kingship of Jesus in our homes. Adore Your Spouse- The greatest thing I can do for my daughters is love my spouse. Do this in front of your kids. Give Kids Your Time Be Consistent with Discipline -Correct and tell why.  Every child is different. Different is OK! -Do not compare the two. Encourage giftings- "Train up a child" is not just having a talk with our kids. Venture into t

As you read  this I am driving to Dallas for the D6 Conference.  I look forward to the drive as I get to talk with a friend to pass the time.  I am looking forward to all the main stage speakers, but most excited about Pete Wilson & Dennis Rainey.   Here are the labs I plan to attend on Wednesday: The Parent Project: Pre-Evangelistic Community Service to Hurting Families that Makes a Difference Mobilizing Men in your Congregation Helping Parents Raise Boys who Love Jesus 10 Common Marriage Ministry Mistakes I will be part of the social media team while I am there.  Here are ways you can connect with me and participate if you are unable to attend: I will be tweeting during sessions. The hashtag is #D62012 and you can follow me @JL_Martin. I will write a blog summary for each main presentation. You can join the live conversation during the sessions that are live-streamed. You can find which sessions will be live-streamed and their approximate times here:  http://live.

I am headed to Dallas tomorrow for the D6 Conference.  I have been to this conference more often than any other ministry conference.  It has the most to offer for my specific ministry responsibilities.  But I know for many people, conferences can be overwhelming.  So, I wanted to offer a few tips for getting the most out of any conference you attend. Here they are in no specific order: Pray-(OK-this one should always be first). Ask God about which workshops you attend.  Seek Him for what vendors to visit.  Pray for divine appointments of people you need to connect with. As you choose workshops, pick a few that relate to what you are currently doing in ministry, pick one that is a dream of yours, pick one that might challenge your thinking.  This allows for a broad range of learning to occur. At most conferences, you can win something if you visit every vendor booth.  I have found this is extremely stressful for me.  I walk by all vendors during breaks and browse what they offer.

Occasionally, I like to share the highs from my past week.  As a family, we try to do this each evening at supper. Here are my highs in no particular order: Kids day off from school on Monday included "special" trip to Perk Hanging up posters for oil change with my girls Another great evening for Hide N Seek & fuzion Hesston Coming Home Parade Contract on our Iola House Coffee with a friend at The Well Fireworks at Home Football Game Swimming & Movie with the kids Parent/Child Dedication & Children's Church during worship today My wife getting home from South Dakota Leaving for Dallas for D6 on Tuesday

As parent, we are often faced with having hard conversations with our kids. Sometimes it is things others have said or done to them. But sometimes we must seize the moment when kids make unwise choices. I had one of these conversations recently with one of my kids. I thought I would share the "plan" I used. No matter the issue, I think this would work in most situations. All I know is that I was stressed about the conversation, but spent some time praying and God gave me peace. Always start with prayer! Here is what I did: What-Here is where you get out the specifics.  If it is disrespect, late home, etc.  you share clearly what you are here to discuss.    Word-During your prayer time, ask God for specific verses that relate to the what.  As a parent, we are not just seeking to make our lives easier, but instead showing our children why what they did is not OK because of God's Word.  Show them the verses and have them read them.   Protect & Provide-God i

It is official.  We have an offer on our house in Iola. We moved from Iola in November 2008 and have been trying to sell the house while renting it over these 4 years.  It has been a rocky & scary road at times as we wondered how we would be able to make ends meet while making double house payments.  However, God is faithful.  When worry and anxiety came in (believe me it happened more than once), God would answer our prayers.  God did this through unexpected checks in the mail, anonymous cash donations, generous church members who paid mortgage payments, or simply the reassurance we needed by having two offers over the last few weeks. Do you know the song "Jehvoah Jireh"?  It has been a song that has come to mind often over the last four years.  Here are the lyrics: Jehovah Jireh My provider His grace is sufficient For me, for me, for me Jehovah Jireh My provider His grace is sufficient for me My God shall supply all my needs According to his riches in gl

Occasionally, I like to share what I am currently reading.  Here is my current list: Prayer Coach by James Nicodem The Explicit Gospel by Matt Chandler Family Shepherds by Voddie Baucham Pharisectomy by Peter Haas What books are on next? Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis Counterfeit Gospels by Trevin Wax How about you?  What books would you recommend?

A week from today I am headed to Dallas for the excellent D6 Conference.  I will be part of the social media team while I am there.  Here are ways you can connect with me and participate if you are unable to attend: I will be tweeting during sessions. The hashtag is #D62012 and you can follow me @JL_Martin. I will write a blog summary for each main presentation. You can join the live conversation during the sessions that are live-streamed. You can find which sessions will be live-streamed and their approximate times here: http://live.mediasocial.tv/d6conference . Here you can ask questions and see what others are saying. I hope you will interact with me September 26-28.  You can still register to attend  here

Today, I had a great day with my kids on their day off from school.  They helped me set up for Mom 2 Mom & run errands.  We then headed to the Perk and as we were leaving I shut Molly's finger in the car door.  She cried.  I felt horrible.  I classify this as "daddy fail."  I wondered if we were headed to the doctor.  But she ended up being fine. Only a few minutes later, I was pushing them on the merry-go-round at Children's Park and listening to them laugh uncontrollably. We were able to get a lot done this afternoon and have fun too So, how about you?  What has been your most recent mommy or daddy fail?

Chapter 4 of Explicit Gospel by Matt Chandler discusses our response to Jesus. Here are a few quotes to encourage you to pick up the book. "Christ's work demands the response of faith, but we want to make donations."  "What I learned in those early days is that the proclamation of the glory of God, the might of God, and the majesty of God brought to bear on the sinfulness of man in the atoning work of Jesus Christ actually stirs the hearts of men. And men respond to that stirring. Some are stirred to belief; some are not." "When we dilute or ditch the gospel, we end up with an evangelicalism featuring special appearances  by Jesus but the denial of his power (2 Timothy 3:5)." "A hearer's response is not our responsibility; our responsibility is to be faithful to God's call and the message of the gospel." "We are never, ever, ever going to make Christianity so cool that everybody wants it.  . . It doesn't need our he

Today I was able to head to Hutch for the Kansas State Fair. All I can say is you can deep fry anything! As a family, we decided to try deep fried cookie dough and were very pleased with our choice. Bethany was working at Newton Chamber of Commerce booth so the kids and I walked around and played and ate for 4 hours together. It was a fun afternoon. Some of the rides and games have improved over the years, but for the most part it is the same as it was when I was a kid. Michael Julian, do you remember paying to go to "freak show" with snake woman and other strange and bizarre animals. Well, it is still a show at the fair. I was proud of my kids and how they walked around and let me do a few things too. My favorite was the ferris wheel. My second favorite was eating at Carlos O'Kelleys on the way home. All in all, it was a good Saturday as a family. Came home with less money, but a nice change to a normal Saturday routine.

I am reading through Baucham's Family Shepherds .  As with any book, there are things I agree & disagree with.  Here are a few quotes related to parenting: "Hence, doing good is something that one can accomplish apart from Christ through proper conditioning.  This is a direct contradiction of Jesus' teaching. . ." "The result is a child-training approach that relies on behavior modification as opposed to spiritual transformation." "As Tedd Tripp writes, "Addressing the child's character places the emphasis on issues of the heart. It enables you to get underneath the behavior and address the thoughts, motives, and purposes of the heart." "This is the heart of formative discipline. We must bring our children back to the cross again and again. We must teach them why they sin, what the consequences are, and how Christ is their only hope. " "If you can't find a precept in the Bible, ask yourself why you've

As a guy, I hate asking for directions when I might be lost.  I like to use the GPS on my phone, but this can often lead me to go weird ways when I know exactly how to get somewhere.  To prove the point, I have driven to Sterling often (since I graduated from there), but have ended up taking the longer route the last two times I have driven there.  This driving illustration leads me to direction we need in our lives.  I have several decisions related to ministry and home that need to be made.  At times, I can become overwhelmed with deciding between two good options.  As I was praying on Tuesday, I was pondering these decisions and asked God to speak to me through His Word.  He did.  Here is the Scripture that was brought to mind: 1  Do not fret because of those who are evil      or be envious of those who do wrong; 2  for like the grass they will soon wither,      like green plants they will soon die away. 3  Trust in the Lord and do good;      dwell in the land and enjoy

I will be part of the social media team again this year for the D6 Conference in Dallas on September 26-28.  See information below showing other members of social media team and which speakers will be streamed live.  I hope you will share thoughts or send questions as we interact via social media during the conference.  I will be posting quotes & thoughts here on my blog as well as quotes on Twitter.  This is a great way for you to receive great content if you are unable to attend. Download social media guide here