"As parents, we are better at protecting than preparing."
The Evolution of Parents
- The Tylenol Scare-The Era of the "Wanted Child" began.
- The Reagan Years-The Era of the "Protected Child" began.
- Media, TV, Campaigns & Movies-The Era of the "Worthy Child" began.
- Focus on Education in the 1990's-The Era of the "Perfect Child" began.
- The Columbine Massacre-The Era of the "Smothered Child" began.
Remember the butterfly story-helping a butterfly escape from cocoon does not end well
Damaging Parenting Styles Today
- Helicopter Parents-Side w/ child instead of caring adult teaching or leading them. They hover, control.
- Karaoke Parents-Sound like, dress like their child. More committed to be friend than parent.
- Dry Cleaner Parents-You are a professional-fix my child. They just drop off their kids.
- Volcano Parents-Erupting with emotions that outweigh the situation. Living out life thru child.
- Drop Out Parents-Began the journey but dropped out physically or emotionally
- Bullied Parents-Kids are in control & they manipulate to get their way. Parents never follow through
- Groupie Parents-Follow around their kids as groupies in sports, music, pageants
- Commando Parents-Only way to do parenting is very rigid. Only rules, little love
As parents, we are protecting the wrong thing. We need to focus on the heart. Our job is not information now, but interpretation.
Nine Ways Churches Can Collaborate with Parents
- Meet twice a year to clarify plans and tell stories (success & failure).
- Plan events/mission trips for families to experience.
- Provide resources for use at home. (tools at meal time, bed time, travel time, morning)
- Sponsor a mentoring initiative for single parents.
- Develop a rite-of-passage experience.
- Constantly clarify the best interests of their children.
- Identify a vehicle for on-going communication.
- Invite parents to be interviewed at the youth group.
- Create a covenant to sign.
Four Daily Junctions
- Meal Time (Habitudes-more of a teacher)
- Drive Time (more conversational)
- Bed Time (kids tend to open up during this time, how was your day?)
- Morning Time (Role of encouraging or cheerleader)