Hard Conversations

As parent, we are often faced with having hard conversations with our kids. Sometimes it is things others have said or done to them. But sometimes we must seize the moment when kids make unwise choices. I had one of these conversations recently with one of my kids.

I thought I would share the "plan" I used. No matter the issue, I think this would work in most situations. All I know is that I was stressed about the conversation, but spent some time praying and God gave me peace. Always start with prayer!

Here is what I did:

• What-Here is where you get out the specifics.  If it is disrespect, late home, etc.  you share clearly what you are here to discuss.   
• Word-During your prayer time, ask God for specific verses that relate to the what.  As a parent, we are not just seeking to make our lives easier, but instead showing our children why what they did is not OK because of God's Word.  Show them the verses and have them read them.  
• Protect & Provide-God is not trying to be a killjoy when He tells us no.  Josh McDowell says God's Word is there to protect and provide for us.  Protect us from the consequences of sin & provide for what is best.  For example, the reason God says no to sex before marriage is because He wants to protect us from unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, emotional pain, etc.  There are more, but you get the idea.  God's Word says no because this provides for great sex as a married couple.  You are not bringing baggage or comparisons into the relationship.  Try it.  When God says no, what is He protecting us from & how is He providing for us?
• Gospel-Now we need to share the gospel.  All of us need Jesus every day.  During this time you share how your son or daughter is loved and forgiven.  Remind them what Jesus did for them on the cross.  Their sins have been forgiven.  You have forgiven them.  Make sure they hear this clearly or the "What" can become an area of shame and condemnation in their lives.
• Moving forward-Now pray together before you leave.  Help them know that to repent means to change directions.  Encourage them to pray and repent for the "What" above.  Finally, close with steps moving forward.  Depending on the situation, a consequence might be in order.  Notice I don't use the word punishment.  At other times, you might talk about what they could do next time.  Or, you might need to talk about ways to avoid the sin or temptation in the future. This might include personal steps or things you as parent plan to do to help them out.  Remind them that they are not alone, but the Holy Spirit will empower them & help them.